I’m about to say a dirty word. One that I never dared say until this past spring. A dark, mean, horrible, intimidating word.
College. *Insert Psycho music here*
Just the sound of the word makes me shudder. It’s such a huge thing in my mind, and something I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with for at least another year. I thought I had time.
As fate would have it, my local community college happens to offer concurrent enrollment, essentially a chance for a high school junior or senior–me–to start gaining college credit whilst simultaneously completing their remaining high school work.
I guess I should look at this as a good thing. I’m basically doing almost half the schoolwork for twice the credit that I would get otherwise, and getting two years of college and an Associates out of the way before I’m even eighteen. Good, right? Great, even. Awesome.
So why am I unsure about it?
It’s not that I don’t think I’ll do well or anything. I believe academically I’d be absolutely fine. Great, even. I’ve been doing college-level work in school for quite some time now. I guess it’s more of the idea of college being a “grown up” thing, in my mind. Something that you do when you’re ready to be an adult.
And…to be honest… I’m not. I am by NO means ready to be an adult, and college is this huge step that feels like it’s pushing me that way, and fast. I’m at a point now where I need to make a plan for my-here comes another freaky word-future. I need to narrow down interests and talents to what I can plausibly make a living from. I need to learn things that will benefit whatever path I choose, and help it along.
Oh, did I mention I need to choose a career path?
Yeah. I don’t even fully know who I am now, let alone who I’ll be in two, five, ten, fifteen, or twenty years from now. How can I be expected to make such a huge decision that will affect all future versions of me when I’m still in one of the dumbest, least knowledgeable stages of my life? For all I know, future me has NO interest whatsoever in web design. Future Faith could hate writing, or singing, or music in general. I could pick and pursue a path now that could be useless to me in twenty years.
And it all starts right now, with the “C” word.
This is gonna be fun.