I have a vial of truth serum. (Do not ask why or how; I cannot tell you unless you are okay with me killing you.) What am I supposed to do with it? I went to all of the trouble of attacking the guards and infiltrating the systems of-shoot. I’ve said too much.
Anyway, my point is, I went to a lot of trouble to get it. But why?
The answer is quite simple, really. To ask my dog what she really thinks of me.
Now, this is (of course) assuming that the truth serum would, in addition to revealing the true thoughts in a person’s head, allow any non-human recipients to have the ability to speak. Or at least give me a transcript or something. I mean, of what use would it REALLY be, if it didn’t? It’s not like any sane person would allow you to give them truth serum. For all they know, YOU were lying and you aren’t just going to ask them about their true, deep feelings for you. NO, you’re planning on finding out who REALLY ate your Twinkie last week!
I am very insecure when it comes to my puppy, and while I know she loves me, I want to know what she’s thinking when she walks into my room and begins talking* to me. I want to know what’s going on in her mind when she’s been cuddling next to me for an hour while I read, and all of a sudden, without any movement from me or her beforehand, she gets up and switches to my sister’s bed.
Because all I’m feeling then is the sting of total cold-hearted rejection.
I want to know what causes her to jump up and bark at the wall for NO reason whatsoever.
What does my Sasha REALLY think of me?
For all I know, she really hates me and it’s all just a hoax to get more treats off of me! I feel like such a chump…
I swear, the truth WILL be made known.
*Dog owners: You know what I mean by “talking”. The short, loud growl meant exclusively to make you look at your puppy. Our Sasha also likes to repeat the one word she’s been able to learn to “speak”: Mom (because whenever that word is said in our house, a response is given immediately) over and over again between growls.